Where Southampton Leads ! Rome Follows !
Thursday, 14th Mar 2013 10:42

Anyone noticed a familiar pattern in the Catholic Church over recent weeks as the Eternal City follows in the footsteps of a South Hampshire one.

The fortunes of Saints and the Catholic Church seem to have followed a rocky path over the past year or so and have been dogged by controversial resignations in key positions but the announcement of a new Pope yesterday made me think that perhaps those in power in the Vatican follow the events at St Mary's a lot closer than we might think.

Of course there are some similarities between the two organisations, both effectively came out of religion, although technically Saints emerged from the young mans association of a Church of England church so do not have their roots in Catholicism.

The first thing the clubs have in common is that both have a Swiss Guard, with Nicola Cortese effectively being the guardian over Southampton Football Club.

But the election of the new Pope spookily followed a familiar pattern that we would all recognise, back in January neither Saints fans or Catholics foreso any changes in leadership, Nigel Adkins looked secure at least to the end of the season and Pope Benedict likewise, the departure of both was surrounded in controversy and here it seems the conclave of cardinals looked to St Mary(s) for their inspiration.

Like the speculation as to who would eventually replace Adkins when he left prior to his simultaneous sacking and the appointment of Pochettino, the favourite for the job was not to succeed, the Cardinals like Cortese looked to Argentina for their inspiration and surely it can be no coincidence that Jorge Mario Bergogli is like Mauricio Pochettino from Argentina.

The Southampton influence is confirmed by the name chosen by the new Pope, Pope Francis is a direct reference to one of the most famous Saints in history, Saint Francis of Benali, perhaps not as well known as Saint Francis Of Assisi or even Saint David Of St Paris San Germain, but there can be no doubt of the links here.

If there are still those who doubt, then a look at Pope Francis's year of birth leaves no room for debate, born on 17th December 1936 this was sandwiched in between two 3-1 defeats for Saints away at Bradford and at home to Barnsley, two places in Yorkshire where christianity is yet to reach but is sure to be high on the list of priorities to send missionaries in 2013, but get out the calculator and you will soon work out our new Pope is aged 76, does that ring a bell, it should do, when I heard that it was like a bolt from heaven was sending us all a message.

But the final confirmation was the fact that he appeared on the balcony of St Pauls in an all white assemble, only the second time our current away kit has been able to be used in its entirety, the delay in his appearance was caused by last minute talks about whether he could display the logo of sponsors Aap, but this was soon solved and the new pontiff appeared in the white kit prompting Saints stores to see queues round the block from catholic saints fans and the kit selling out in the first hour of trading.

Hopefully now with God sending a sign to the Premier league they will drop the stupid charge of failing to control our players at Norwich, after all to proceed with the charge would almost be accusing God himself and certainly the conclave of cardinals of being unable to control their flock and im sure they wouldnt want to do that.

Originally there were concerns that Pope Francis might not be the most famous Catholic with Saints connections, that currently lies with Artur Boruc whose official title in the Vatican is the Holy Goalie, however after reading ancient manuscripts huriedly purchased from one of the many souvvenie shops that line the Via Pontechinnio leading to St Peter's square (rumoured to soon be renamed St Mary's, watch this space) it was established that in the pecking order Holy Father is still higher than Holy Goalie.

Photo: Action Images

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richardmdcooper added 12:30 - Mar 14 hahaha
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Bulgarian added 12:56 - Mar 14

Cheers Nick, I really liked this one. Although, to be truthful, there were some blatant exaggerations in your study.

However, on a more serious note, I still can't believe the world press are refusing us the attention we deserve - they keep on posting articles about the pope being a football fan, a notable supporter of Argentinian clubs etc. etc. ( http://www.euronews.com/2013/03/14/the-new-pope-takes-the-bus-to-work-and-he-is- but they fatally missed to reveal his change of heart (in the last minutes before the election) choosing to publicly reveal his true Saints heart: http://imageshack.us/f/713/popesaintsfan.jpg/.
In support of this fact, the first Vatican post-election scandal appears to be on the Vatican security's refusal to mix the white smoke with some red vapour.

The consequences: the Echo is believed to reveal around 16.00 today NC's wish to sue the World Press Center for notoriously ommiting SFC's name in world news, thus failing to gain over 1,64 bln GBP at the end of this financial year. Cortese is poised to defend our legal rights, but only after he completes NA's tribunal case.

ItchenNorth added 13:01 - Mar 14 So its true that Pope Nicola 1 banned Saint Francis of Benali for turning over the money tables in the temple St Marys.
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