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Clive, the consistency of quality and effort of your reports are matched only by the inconsistency quality and effort of the team. Which is why support.
Beyond the call of duty, Clive. A masterpiece of accurate reporting. I watched it, and your report is word perfect, plus your asides about the questions asked, We are lucky to have you there to do the biz. Anyone tells me that I'm wrong, come down the stairs and I'll fight your dad.
I remain a QPR fan in spite of the past 60 years of suffering shyte, with the occasional sight of the promised land, Most of all I remain blue and white hoops because of the qualify of knowledge and journalism expressed on this site. Clive is Jesus in hoops, he says all the right things and he will end up saying I told you so as they hammer in the nails. Everyone nods in agreement but in the end they know. that we up up the old beck without an oar And there is Porthcawl we can do about it. I really fear for QPR. this year. They have always been the weather vane of this country. Basically both the UK and QPR are phoooked You can pull my pud if QPR get anything out of Vickerage Road tomorrow. And Liz rTuss is my local MP!!! What have I done wrong?
Wonderful read ... can you put it on Audible too? I want to go to sleep listening to prose like this too. Just brilliant stuff, keep it up, If you can!!
Clive. A brilliant piece of proper journalism, the quality of which is sadly lacking in the main line papers. We have finally got our Rangers back, frustratingly inconsistent, brilliant one minute - dog turd the next; just the way they were when I started watching them in 1962. It's the Lazarus club, the Lazarus spirit - it may get lost in the chase for moolah, but Mark my words - isn't it lovey when it comes back to its rightful place at Loftus Road. We are lucky to have Les and Loos and Warbs with some sort of realistic ambition of what we can be. We are also lucky to have you making our match reports the one consistent quality aspect of being an R's supporter,
Apologies getting the ref wrong for the complaint about the ref doing last Saturday's game at Brentford. He was short enough and stupid enough to have been Keith Stroud. What worries me that there are now two shyte refs out there officiating in Championship games that are in the Gurnham Singh, Ray Aldous, Andy Hall Rob Styles class of ineptness. That is not good for the game.
Clive, you have set a high bar for reports this year, but this Watford one is a work of pure genius. This has t be the best one ever, you must've been up all night writing it. You link events on the night to key points in QPR's history, which are sprayed around like Ale Faulin in his pomp. You spice it up with references to Candleface Redknapp, coining in his dodgy jam roly poly reputation on Sky Transfer Night to the exclusion of any half decent mention of a match which was taking place in the no-man's land of Watford. By the way, did anyone else notice the make up department took the piss out of Pinocchio with the over use of rouge and his East Enders perm? Wonderful stuff and just to round it all off you include a deserved stroke for a decent referee. Heaven help us if we had copped that Jimmy Clitheroe of a ref Keith Stroud. His shocking penalty decision for Brentford against Wycombe last Saturday is usually one he keeps in the locker to dish out to us. Such a good report that I've read it twice already, and so I must read it again, as I'm still giggling at your description of Dom Ball missing his congratulatory dive into the asphalt
Another work of art Clive, your reports are better than being there, they are so bloody funny and yet so correct in analysis - do you sleep at night? Or stay awake writing and perfecting LFW repots.?
"they sell sausage rolls by the yard at this ground – swear to God, the thing is as long as your arm – and they’ve clearly been paying Martin’s appearance bonus in them. If you thought he was out of shape when he slobbed about against us at Reading last year then my God you should see the state of him now. I thought they’d brought Lisa Riley on. Made Tomer Hemed look like Jessica Ennis." Brilliant!!!!!! The funniest and smartest of comments in a season of exceptional reporting.
Clive, you deserve the famed number 10 shirt for your reports this year. You'd probably come up with some hysterically funny quips about the Charge of the Light Brigade if they had worn hoops as they rode into the valley of death
Clive, if all these positive comments don't convince you that 99% of the LFW readership really value your contribution and the humour and common sense you bring to the LFW site - then the !% who cause the aggro should be told to join the Chelscum site which is where knob ends like them belong. Please keep on keeping on.
Agreed, whatever the match result, if it's good, bad, indifferent, or a can't be arsed Redkbobb style effort, what Clive contributes to the LFW site always adds value plus some grins, which is the same as going to the dentist, you're glad it's over, whatever happens. Ignore the tw*ttish comments, Clive, as Bob Zimmerman says "if you're tangled up in blue and white hoops, you've got to keep on keeping on!". So - keep on doing it Clive.. can I nominate you for a Booker prize next year??
This year, if we don't score first and early on, we are buggered. The quietest game I've ever experienced at Lotus Road'. Even the 3,265 that attended the Div 3 game against Oldham in 1964 made more noise than yesterday's crowd.
I was in the West Paddock where there was a communal shrug of the shoulders and the murmur of monastery monks from 15 minutes awards to the end of the game.
The South Africa toilets were the highlight of the game.
Absolutely nailed on 3 points for Burton tomorrow, it's in the stars, the club history, the crystal ball, the tea leaves, the Daily sodding Mail. It's what QPR do, they break your hearts. The only thing to cheer me up tomorrow is the news that Redknobb is announced as the new Stoke manager. More chance of that happening than QPR beating lowly Burton.
Redknobb has managed to ruin at least three clubs financially, the old bill should have had him banged up after the Portsmouth fracas and then we would not have been in a position to think abut him being hired.
Tone's huge mistake was buying QPR from the Poisoned Dwarf and the Yellow Peril, paid over the odds for a knackered horse, and then refused to shoot it. A quick death would have been easier to take, phook knows what all this does for morale for the team, club and fans.
Clive, there's never ever been a better pre game write up than this. Spot on, spot on. Pimp this article to be the front page of all the Sunday papers. What's wrong with football? What's wrong with rugby? What's wrong with athletics? Not to mention the way that the EC sodding B has sold its soul to SKY. Sport is no longer a sport, it's merchandising, agents, dodgy owners, weak as shyte keg bitter management, piss poor planning, but above all, sport is no fun any more. I spent a beautiful August evening last Wednesday in Norwich, wondering what the Donald Duck I was doing there, watching two sides play non risk football, turning down anything that looked like there could be a chance to score. It's like Rees-Mogg is running football now, every club can play, as long as the big clubs with connections can win titles, because it's their right, because they are there. It is so hard to get enthused about any sport now. The passion has gone out of the game. I sound like my dad 50 years ago, but then I got him to start watching at Loftus Road and he loved it. He spent half his time giggling at the comments from the terraces. Now, it's all talking total bollocks. Why do we bother, Fawlty?
Your reports, Clive, are about the only positive reason to continue to support the R's. At least you know what the customers what. Humour, truth and a generous dash of irony, with a sprinkling of misplaced hope.
One of my all time favourite players, Mark always had a link with the fans. Before the game started he had a legendary walk across the pitch to his position of right wing,South Africa Road side with the fans chanting "Lazarus" :"Lazarus" to him- which he would acknowledge with a two hands aloft salute, doing the all hail bit. He had many memorable moments, crossing the ball for the winning goal against Carlisle in the League Cup quarter final wearing just his jockstrap with his clean shorts in his hand, nutmegging Harry Cripps of Millwall time after time, and belting Terry Long of Crystal Palace in the mouth when he got fed up of being kicked every time he beat him on the outside. Look at his playing record, he scored lots of goals as well as making them.
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