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Farewell
at 17:10 8 Jul 2022

Since old Flynnidine has departed to follow in the footsteps of those who famously used to blow bubbles relentlessly such as Trevor Brooking, Bobby Moore and Michael Jackson I am hereby forced to nail this username to the proverbial cross and ascend it to the heavens.

Alas, it has been far too short a time to post among such excellent and admirable hobbits. I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

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Paragon of virtue rt. hon David Lammy MP
at 12:51 20 Jun 2022

Under investigation for alleged breach of the MP’s code of conduct for late filing of financial info or something, incredibly boring stuff and nothing will come of it but what caught my eye was the suggestion in this article that Mr Lammy was paid over £3000 for a speech and question and answer session. Now forgive me if I’m being a little old fashioned but don’t we already pay MP’s more than enough to do this sort of thing? If I lived in Mr Lammy’s constituency and wanted to ask him questions would I stand a better chance if I chucked him a few grand?

If he’s devoting his time to these paid appearances does that mean his normal constituents who aren’t paying him don’t get a look in?

Personally I’d happily pay him £3000 to stay away.

https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/2022/jun/20/david-lammy-investigated-mp-sta
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Just when you thought the world couldn’t get any more mad…
at 10:04 15 Jun 2022

I’m not sure what the most surprising aspect of this story is… The fact it made it to court at all? The fact it even made it to the highest court in New York? The fact that 2 people on the court seemingly used their years of legal training and experience in nuanced law to find it within themselves to rule that an elephant is human?

https://amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/jun/14/elephant-person-human-animal-rig


How did we get to this point? Where will it all end?
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Prince Willy selling big issue
at 17:29 9 Jun 2022

I’m sure his heart is in the right place even if it does stink of a shameless PR exercise but If he really wanted to help the homeless couldn’t he put them up in an empty room in one of his many massive empty palaces and stately homes? Or am I being too cynical?
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Levi Belfield
at 12:17 12 May 2022

The serial killer, rapist and all round little fat nonce Levi Bellfield is to marry apparently. Some absolute mental case of a woman has been writing to him and visiting him in prison and he has got down on one knee and proposed. And they say romance is dead?

She is one lucky lady.

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Record profits for energy companies
at 08:26 5 May 2022

Bit perverse really isn’t it with everyone struggling? Shell made £9 billion profit in three months.
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Johnny Depp/Heard court battle
at 17:02 29 Apr 2022

Has anybody else been following this madness? Depp is suing his ex wife for defamation after she wrote an article insinuating he had been abusive towards her during their marriage. He was subsequently dropped by Disney, Warner Bros and other film franchises as a result. She has put a counterclaim in.

Anyway it’s not looking good for her so far. It’s emerged she allegedly cut part of his finger off after throwing a bottle. She threw a can of mineral spirits at his face and was recorded saying “I wasn’t punching you, I was hitting you” and also saying (paraphrase) “nobody will believe you because you’re a man”. The recordings she secretly made to submit as evidence seems to portray Depp as incredibly passive and patient to the point that he just wants to walk away and discuss things later when they’ve both calmed down but she won’t let him calling him a coward and a baby. She also allegedly did a massive poo on his side of the bed.

Of course she hasn’t been on the stand yet to give her own side to be fair but it has been gripping viewing.
[Post edited 29 Apr 2022 18:55]
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Knickersgate
at 11:29 26 Apr 2022

Surprised this hasn’t been mentioned on here yet, Angela Rayner and her alleged crossing and uncrossing of legs to distract Boris. Unnamed tories have made this allegation in the mail on Sunday and it’s sparked accusations of misogyny.

Here is an artists impression of the alleged incident:

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Record for goals conceded from own goal kicks?
at 17:15 23 Apr 2022

Anyone got a stat for this? We must be up there now Shirley?
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Max Watters?
at 08:57 3 Apr 2022

Hearing a lot of rumours he might be back on our radar for the summer. Russell Martin is known to be a huge fan and tried to sign him for MK when Watters was at Crawley and went back in to get him on loan in the summer.

He’s fallen out of favour at Cardiff because their remarkably successful side is incredibly creative and scores lots of goals and their managerial genius Steve Morison publicly said he wasn’t good enough after subbing him off after subbing him on.


Here’s a quote from Russel Martin from July after signing Watters on loan for MK Dons:

Russell Martin said: “This is a brilliant signing for us. We chased him in January before his move to Cardiff City and have retained that interest in him - he has retained interest as well and was keen to come here on loan this season.

“Mick McCarthy and Cardiff have been brilliant in helping to facilitate this move. They believe this is a great opportunity for Max and so do we. He will be a really good fit in our squad - he’s young, athletic and he’s a goalscorer too.”

Sporting Director Liam Sweeting added: “We are really pleased to welcome Max to MK Dons and I’d like to thank Mick McCarthy and Cardiff City for trusting us with his development this season.

“It’s well known that we previously tried to sign Max in January but his outstanding form with Crawley saw him jump straight to the Championship. In that period, he showed exactly what he can bring to a team - his movement, anticipation and focus is all about getting in behind and scoring goals.

“Meeting him yesterday, we saw how excited he is to get going under Russ and begin learning our style of play. We look forward to, hopefully, creating many goalscoring opportunities for him here at Stadium MK.”
[Post edited 3 Apr 2022 8:58]
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When I were a lad…
at 00:17 2 Apr 2022

We always mocked foreign clubs and fans particularly those in Spain who wouldn’t go a few weeks without demanding their manager be sacked. Now we seem to have joined them. Having two or three (or more) managers a season has become par for the course in this country.

Do we give managers enough of a chance to build a team anymore? I know there are those on here that want to see Martin go, there are those that think we are building something and should give him time. Imagine if the fans of Manchester United and the media had got their way in demanding Alex Ferguson should be sacked in 1989, we’d be living in a different footballing reality. “Even the wise can’t see all ends”. I think it was Gandalf that said that. And he’d know, being a wizard. Although identifying as “the white” in this day and age might get him in a whole lot of other trouble. But I digress.

So we are at a crossroads. Remember a certain Mr Rodgers was palmed off by Watford and Reading because success wasn’t coming as fast as they would like, that was no measure of his ability as history has proved but a result of an overly twitchy trigger finger that the fans were in complete support of at the time. No doubt both clubs would love him back now.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is be like Gandalf. I don’t mean constantly getting off your tits on Longbottom leaf from the southfarthing or buggering off to talk crap with that mentalist Tom Bombadil. I mean just going along with the ride and seeing where it takes you. Because even the wise cannot see all ends.
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Jamie Wallis MP
at 15:51 30 Mar 2022

Tory MP Jamie Wallis has become the first openly trans MP and spoke about going through a rape ordeal where he/she/they met a bloke on the internet who refused to agree to Wallis’s wishes for him to wear a condom and carried on anyway.

Anyway I wish him luck with his/her/their transition and I hope he/she/they get justice on his/her/their rapist.

Now this isn’t a comment on this horrific alleged incident or MP in question but a general purveyance to stimulate a debate. Do you think it’s appropriate or sensible for people in positions such as Members of Parliament to be meeting random people from the internet for dating or sex?

Now I’m an old romantic who believes there should be more love and fun in the world and I know that online dating is generally the way things are done these days. And as consenting adults we should be free to meet and shag other consenting adults as and how and when we wish, there’s nothing wrong with that. But is there a security risk for these types of professions? Should they take more care about who they meet? You’re opening yourself up for blackmail and all sorts.

Off you go.

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Meanwhile, in North Korea…
at 18:48 25 Mar 2022

These cheeky chappies have been busying themselves creating this cinematic masterpiece. The performance from leading actor and worldwide heartthrob Kim Jong Un is tipped to land him an Oscar in the near future. His character arc is masterful in the way he points over there and then points the other way before pointing again, before moodily taking off his sunglasses and nodding. His performance has been described by leading film critics as “like watching an incredibly talented and sexy actor.”

Anyway enjoy this glorious nonsense. It is real I assure you.

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No court action?
at 17:12 15 Feb 2022

Randy Andy pays up.
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It’s official. Dick is out
at 19:10 10 Feb 2022

About time as well.
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Inappropriate messages Overmars
at 15:01 7 Feb 2022

Marc overmars.

Marc Overmars has left his role as director of football affairs at Ajax after the Dutch club said he sent a "series of inappropriate messages to several female colleagues".

An Ajax statement said the former Arsenal and Barcelona winger would leave "with immediate effect".

The 48-year-old had been in the role since 2012 and had recently signed a contract extension until June 2026.

Overmars said he was "ashamed" and that his behaviour was "unacceptable".

"Last week I was confronted with reports about my behaviour and how this has come across to others," Overmars told Ajax's website.

"Unfortunately I didn't realise that I was crossing the line with this but that was made clear to me in recent days. I apologise.

"Certainly for someone in my position this behaviour is unacceptable. I now see that but it is too late. I see no other option but to leave Ajax."

Overmars made more than 130 appearances for Ajax between 1992 and 1997 and won three league titles, the Dutch cup and the Champions League before joining Arsenal in 1997, where he won the double with the Gunners.

He spent 10 years as director of football affairs at Ajax with supervisory board chairman Leen Meijaard describing Overmars as "the best football director Ajax has had".

"This is a dramatic situation for everyone involved," Meijaard added.

"It is devastating for the women who have had to deal with this behaviour. When we heard the news, we immediately acted.

"He has really gone over the line and continuing as director was not an option, as he recognised himself. It is extremely painful for everyone."

Former team-mate and Ajax chief executive Edwin van der Sar added that he found the situation "appalling for everyone".

"I feel responsible to help colleagues," he said.

"A safe sport and working climate is very important. We will pay more attention to this in the future.

"Marc and I have been playing together since the early 1990s and we have been colleagues for almost 10 years now. That has now come to a very abrupt end."

Ajax are top of the Eredivisie after 21 games.

This post has been edited by an administrator
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Poo transplant???
at 19:00 4 Feb 2022

I’ve just watched an episode of South Park where Kyles mom gets a poo transplant. This is a procedure where someone else’s poo gets placed in her anus and the result is that she feels much better and looks much younger. All the other women in town then attempt to steal her poop to shove up their own arses to get the same effect. It all comes to a hilarious ending when it turns out they all get bacterial infections from shoving dirty turkey basters up where the sun don’t shine.

Anyway I thought this was just run of the mill South Park toilet humour but upon googling it I discovered that these procedures are an actual thing and people are actually doing it. It’s a growing multi million dollar industry apparently. The “science” (supposedly) behind it is that by inserting the faeces of a healthy person it changes your own micro biome and gives you all the healthy bacteria they have therefore improving your own gut health.

Has anyone on here had this done and how did it go for you?

Also to professor or anyone else may know more about this stuff (I bet fans dad is a reknowned expert in the field too) does this sort of thing actually work? Or is it all pseudoscience guff?
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Real or fake?
at 14:54 30 Jan 2022

Either way it’s funny. Can’t imagine this qualifies as parliamentary language…

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Naughty Arsenal player?
at 10:01 20 Jan 2022

An unnamed arsenal player is under investigation for a yellow card received earlier in the season which has been linked to irregular betting patterns.

It’s incredible that this is still going on with the obscene amounts of money they already make.
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Folk singer to win Darwin Award?
at 15:32 19 Jan 2022

What a folking idiot.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-60050996
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