| stupid accidents. 16:40 - Dec 2 with 9604 views | connell10 |
....I walked into the bathroom door last night whilst brushing my teeth with my electric toothbrush , to say it hurt would be understatement!!!!!!! Has anyone else some tales to tell of silly ways of hurting yourself , it might make me feel a tad better! |  |
| AND WHEN I DREAM , I DREAM ABOUT YOU AND WHEN I SCREAM I SCREAM ABOUT YOU!!!!! | | Poll: | best number 10 ever? |
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| stupid accidents. on 16:50 - Dec 2 with 6183 views | MrSheen |
I was walking along a dark alley with my hands in my pockets. A truck was parked across the end blocking out the street-lights, so I didn't see the bollard at the end. I walked straight into it and my momentum had me pivoting over it on my nuts. In my panic to get my hands out to break my fall, they got firmly wedged in my pockets, so I toppled over slowly but fully onto my face. Mrs Sheen had a look of horror when she saw the state of me but was laughing too hard to help me when I told her what happened. |  | | |
| stupid accidents. on 16:55 - Dec 2 with 6164 views | johncharles |
Many years ago I was living in a big block of Victorian flats. Ran down the stairs and flung open the big heavy front door but didn't get my foot out of the way quick enough and head butted the edge of the door. Painful but I continued on my way. I did wonder why people were giving me odd looks and crossing the road to avoid me. One kind person took pity and gave me a handful of tissues and told me to look at my reflection in a shop window. Blood was stream down my face and my white shirt mostly red. Looked like I'd crossed the Krays. |  |
| Strong and stable my arse. |
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| stupid accidents. on 17:02 - Dec 2 with 6142 views | wombat |
| stupid accidents. on 16:55 - Dec 2 by johncharles |
Many years ago I was living in a big block of Victorian flats. Ran down the stairs and flung open the big heavy front door but didn't get my foot out of the way quick enough and head butted the edge of the door. Painful but I continued on my way. I did wonder why people were giving me odd looks and crossing the road to avoid me. One kind person took pity and gave me a handful of tissues and told me to look at my reflection in a shop window. Blood was stream down my face and my white shirt mostly red. Looked like I'd crossed the Krays. |
used to be a delivery driver for a stationary supply company many moons ago got out of the van and walked straight into a low hung branch , took the parcel into the office and saw the receptionist make a odd face just as the first drip of blood trickled down my face two seconds later my face was covered as was my shirt and the carpet id caught a vessell on the top of my head with the branch , took about 30 mins to stop enough to get back in the van and carry on delivering |  |
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| stupid accidents. on 17:02 - Dec 2 with 6145 views | stowmarketrange |
I was collecting waste paper from a recycling depot in Charlton about 8 years ago and there was one of those big inflatable bags left in my container and I had to get rid of it before they would load the paper.
I threw it out of the back doors and thought I'd jump on it and burst it,a bit like you do with some plastic wrapping.I guess I jumped about 4 feet from the back of my truck and landed straight onto the bag.It was while I was on the way down that I realised that these bags were meant tokeep pallets from crashing into each other and therefore might be a little bit stronger than I'd first thought.
I landed and fell straight backwards into the kerb by the side of the road,which resulted in me hitting my head on the pavement and cutting my elbows so badly that I had to ask the staff in the recycling depot for first aid to stop the bleeding.
I still have a lump on each elbow even now. |  | | |
| stupid accidents. on 17:07 - Dec 2 with 6131 views | Metallica_Hoop |
Got my hair stuck in a rotating angle grinder disk the other month. Luckily it was powering down, the motor bit jammed, swung up and smashed into my head.
Anyone who used them will know they are not light!
Everyone agreed that they'd never seen that before. I had to get the sparks to untangle my hair from it.
I've also caught my hair in a kango motor so I went up and down with the drill. [Post edited 2 Dec 2015 17:09]
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| Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent |
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| stupid accidents. on 17:09 - Dec 2 with 6122 views | BazzaInTheLoft |
I asked my missus to hurry up and get me a beer once while the painters were in.
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| stupid accidents. on 17:10 - Dec 2 with 6115 views | Tonto |
| stupid accidents. on 17:07 - Dec 2 by Metallica_Hoop |
Got my hair stuck in a rotating angle grinder disk the other month. Luckily it was powering down, the motor bit jammed, swung up and smashed into my head.
Anyone who used them will know they are not light!
Everyone agreed that they'd never seen that before. I had to get the sparks to untangle my hair from it.
I've also caught my hair in a kango motor so I went up and down with the drill. [Post edited 2 Dec 2015 17:09]
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Cut your hair, stop looking like a girl and have less accidents |  |
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| stupid accidents. on 17:12 - Dec 2 with 6107 views | Metallica_Hoop |
| stupid accidents. on 17:10 - Dec 2 by Tonto |
Cut your hair, stop looking like a girl and have less accidents |
I don't look like a girl I look like a Nordic god. | |
| Beer and Beef has made us what we are - The Prince Regent |
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| stupid accidents. on 17:20 - Dec 2 with 6087 views | Harbour |
broke my arm at my then 11 year olds ice skating party....got taken to hospital in an ambulance embarrassing ................and painful.. |  | | |
| stupid accidents. on 17:21 - Dec 2 with 6084 views | jamois |
3 days before a snowboarding trip to canada, i got up in the night for a p|ss and accidentally kicked the doorframe breaking 2 toes. trip cancelled. |  |
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| stupid accidents. on 18:21 - Dec 2 with 5982 views | R_from_afar |
Great thread!
- Stupid accident #1: I literally fell down a hole after a big night out. Someone had removed the barriers around a two foot deep hole in the pavement. I wasn't looking and.... 
- Stupid accident #2: Dozy Warwick District Council had divided a single path into a pedestrian section and a cyclists' section. Unfortunately, they had left a low ridge between the two. As I moved onto the (clear) pedestrian bit to give way to an oncoming cyclist, my tyre caught the ridge and I wiped out. The crash was not the worst bit, that was the fact that I landed in a load of dog sh1t. Sigh...
- Massive near miss #1: When we moved into our house, there was a cracked brick arch at the side of the house. There was a gate in the arch but it was not secured to the arch, just jammed into it. I arranged for someone to come round to fit a proper gate but in the interim, just applied a padlock and chain to the existing set up. One night, in dim light, the gate got thoroughly wedged and I was struggling to get it out. In my haste and frustration, I pushed the brick pillars of the arch apart to loosen the gate. Great idea, I thought, congratulating myself on how clever I was. That did work, but in the process I also loosened about six house bricks, all cemented together, which formed the keystone of the arch. That huge block crashed to the ground from 7 or 8 feet up, missing my foot by 4 inches. I still shudder at the thought of it.. Ugh.
RFA (AKA Mr Clumsy) |  |
| "Things had started becoming increasingly desperate at Loftus Road but QPR have been handed a massive lifeline and the place has absolutely erupted. it's carnage. It's bedlam. It's 1-1." |
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| stupid accidents. on 18:28 - Dec 2 with 5959 views | Hayesender |
Jumped off one of the old route master buses in Oxford St one day way back.
Misjudged the speed and I ended up running straight into a bin and going over it head first |  |
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| stupid accidents. on 19:51 - Dec 2 with 5864 views | WokingR |
I couldn't quite reach the sandwich toaster on top of the kitchen cupboard but could reach the plug so slowly pulled one end of the lead towards the edge.
All good until the other end swung down and broke my nose |  | | |
| stupid accidents. on 19:56 - Dec 2 with 5858 views | Hayesender |
| stupid accidents. on 19:51 - Dec 2 by WokingR |
I couldn't quite reach the sandwich toaster on top of the kitchen cupboard but could reach the plug so slowly pulled one end of the lead towards the edge.
All good until the other end swung down and broke my nose |
Once closed my hand in a ready to toast sandwich toaster.
Still have a scary on my hand where it ripped the skin off | |
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| stupid accidents. on 20:00 - Dec 2 with 5852 views | BlackCrowe |
Not exactly an accident, but aged 13 i faked a stomach ache to get out of outdoor PE on freezing cold morning, and had my appendix taken out. Single most idiotic thing i've ever done. So far. |  |
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| stupid accidents. on 20:10 - Dec 2 with 5827 views | Aitch |
As Forest Gump was known to say "Stupid is as stupid does".
1. In a slightly inebriated state I decided I needed something that was on a high shelf in a built in cupboard. I really couldn't be bothered to get my steps so thought I'd jump up to have a look. Trouble is my Sir Les leap was right under the door frame & I knocked myself out for several minutes and had a lump on my head that made it look as if I was wearing a coppers helmet. Much p!ss taking ensued.
2. Slightly more inebriated one night, with the room spinning, I had to get out of bed for a slash. Doing my best Scooby Doo zombie impression I lurched, arms outstretched, towards the bathroom. Both arms managed to bypass my bedroom door which connected, with a resounding thwack, to my forehead, nose, lips and chin. On my ar#e again with a stripe down my face. Slightly more p!as taking ensued.
3. Very inebriated one night I decided to take a short cut on the way home with my mates. This required me to jump a wall. I forgot to mention I was going to do this but I did, if I say so myself, the perfect vault over the wall. It was then I realised the drop on the other side was quite a bit more than I remembered. I crash landed with a bone jarring stop on my back. I was too shocked to make a sound but was greeted a second or two later by the three most suddenly sober, frantic, worried faces peering over the wall. The hilarious look on my mates faces snapped me out of my shock and I pointed up at them and proceeded to p!ss myself laughing. Muttering that they thought I done myself in that I was a w@nker for laughing at them they walked off. Took me twenty minutes to drag my battered and bruised body off the ground. B@stards!
4. Absolutely slaughtered on the night of my thirtieth I was looking forward to getting my dream guitar (a Gibson SG) the next day. Feeling full of beans I thought I'd jump (again) over some traffic cones near my house. My addled brain didn't realise (again) that things were not as they seemed. These were no normal traffic cones but big motorway ones that I had no chance of clearing. My stupidity in full flow I landed in a crumpled heap (again) the other side. In alcohol dulled pain I got myself home. Next morning having had it's wicked way with me I was abandoned by the fickle alcohol. I woke in agony. Couldn't move my right arm, couldn't drive. Had to get a mate to take me to hospital. With my arm in a sling, nursing a broken right collar bone, my mate took me to get my guitar. Did the staff in the shop laugh their @rsses off? You bet. That guitar stood in the corner of my room for weeks before I could play it!
I don't drink that much these days and I definitely don't jump over things! |  |
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| stupid accidents. on 20:39 - Dec 2 with 5800 views | connell10 |
Blimey this is making my toothbrush experience seem not so bad after all! | |
| AND WHEN I DREAM , I DREAM ABOUT YOU AND WHEN I SCREAM I SCREAM ABOUT YOU!!!!! | | Poll: | best number 10 ever? |
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| stupid accidents. on 21:01 - Dec 2 with 5772 views | paulparker |
About 20 odd years a go my old girl was running a pub and I was leaving for a night out
Anyway I took a short cut through the cellar so I could slip out the back door ( ooo err missus)
The cellar was pitch black and I dropped my pack of fags, as I went down to pick them up I cracked my head on a barell sending me a bit woozy as I finally staggered out of the cellar I got out into the light and I was gushing blood from between my eyes,
I had to be taken to mount vernon hospital where I spent the night in A&E trying to convince the nurse I hadn't been in a fight while she stitched me up |  |
| And Bowles is onside, Swinburne has come rushing out of his goal , what can Bowles do here , onto the left foot no, on to the right foot
That’s there that’s two, and that’s Bowles
Brian Moore
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| stupid accidents. on 21:18 - Dec 2 with 5748 views | E17hoop |
1. Broke my little toe walking into the bedroom; caught it on the door frame.
2. Pulled my calf muscle getting out of bed. Pain like I've never experienced before. |  |
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| stupid accidents. on 21:23 - Dec 2 with 5742 views | warrenfox4 |
Came home piddled one night and started to make myself a nice cheese roll...as you do.
Next thing I know.....Mrs fox told me to sit down and she would make it.
Pulling the bread knife out of my hand.......leaving my thumb hanging off and blood spraying all over my ceiling.
After a 4 hour op and weeks of physio.....my thumb still has no real feeling and I make my own rolls now
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| stupid accidents. on 21:23 - Dec 2 with 5740 views | Pablo_Hoopsta |
When I was a small Pablo there was this toy kids used to have which was basically an A4 sized sheet of black metal with a grey outline on it. You had a scalpel type thing you were meant to scratch the grey outline off and it would reveal a deep gold or bright silver underneath showing a line drawing of an owl (for example).
Anyway, being the industrious type I used the scalpel to carve stuff into small blocks of wood - smaller blocks of wood mainly. Anyhoo, one day I was waiting for my dad to come home and so I was sitting by the window in the front room watching the gate awaiting his return. When he did finally come home I was in the midst of some furious carving - holding the wood in one hand and scalpel in the other stabbing away at the wood to make a hole. I took my eye off what I was doing as my dad strolled down the garden path. In my excitement to see my dad I hadn't realised that with one stabbing motion the wood had become stuck on the end of the scalpel. As I raised my hand to dig down into the wood again it fell off the scalpel, and I stabbed the scalpel into the soft tissue by my thumb on the palm of my hand and in one motion opened my palm right up.
Blood sort of flowed upwards to escape from the nice clean slice towards my fingers as my heart beat drove it out, and then gravity took over and the blood flowed right down my arm. I was, I guess, a little shocked so held my arm up and went to my mum and dad at the front door and showed them what id done.
They rushed me to Ealing Hospital, my home from home as youth, and they stitched me up. I remember it was a sunny day and all the way there I could feel the warmth of the sun shining down on the bloody palm and that was the first of the pain.
Most of the rest of the pain was at the hospital where they peeled the skin back each way on my palm to dig out a few splinters that had snuck on there from the piece of wood and that hurt like a mother fûcker.
I only have a small scar left now but man I remember that and it was fùcking stupid of me. Kids eh!
EDIT: phucking iPhone typos. [Post edited 2 Dec 2015 21:29]
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| stupid accidents. on 23:00 - Dec 2 with 5630 views | barabajagal |
Good stuff, cracking thread.
Sober accidents include...
Knocked myself out for a few seconds getting into the car too quickly and whacking left temple against the roof in Homebase car park in Hove.
Asked big lad at school to 'come on then!'. He did and sent me sprawling.
Accidentally hit golf ball against concrete block indicating tee number. Ball flew straight back into 'upper inner thigh' |  | | |
| stupid accidents. on 23:17 - Dec 2 with 5599 views | Juzzie |
In our mid teens me and my brother were larking about in our grandparents garden.
"Throw an apple to me" i said and took a huge swing with the golf club i was holding.
'Thwaack'. Missed the apple and instead hit my brother in the face breaking his nose. He went down like a sack of spuds holding his face and the scream will haunt me forever.
Just a few inches closer and i would have hit his temple and god knows what damage could have been done. |  | | |
| stupid accidents. on 23:17 - Dec 2 with 5599 views | californiahoop |
Playing chess on my phone walking home, walked straight into a lamp post, lump on my head like an egg, my kids still laugh at that, next day had a look at the lamp post, I somehow dented it! | | | |
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